Home and Away review: Colby and Taylor’s affair is the worst kept secret in town

For anyone hanging onto hope that Home and Away is a family friendly show, that’s not the case tonight because there’s breakups, make-ups, everyone kissing everyone, morning beers and a punch up.

I’ll begin with Colby — the source of all problems.

Exactly what does Colby think he’s dong having an affair with the wife of the cop who is investigating a murder he’s at the centre of?

It’s supposed to be part of his grand plan but so far it’s the worst kept secret in town — Dean, Willow and Bella know — and it’s leaving a path of destruction.

Unless Colby’s trying to direct all of Angelo’s anger and resources on himself and therefore save his friends.

Anyway, Angelo is back from his fake tip off and we’re told the affair has been called off. I surely hope not because I’m really enjoying this affair epically since we don’t see any of the action. And I’m not kidding, Normal People has set unbelievable high standards and nothing else will do.

Now onto Dean, who appears to be drunk even though it also appears to be the morning. But who am I to judge?

Last night he told Ziggy that he’s an accessory to murder, however he continues to proclaim his love for her.

“I don’t know what to do or how to feel, but this changes everything,” Ziggy says.

She goes on about how their entire relationship has been based on a lie — what a classic line — and she pulls the plug.

Dean is back on the beers again, and it’s still not night time.

They’ve been broken up for all of four minutes and literally out of nowhere he leans in and kisses Amber.

They take things back to Dean’s house but news of the breakup is “killing the vibe” and she says she’s not interested in quick flings anymore which is very contrary to her previous actions.

Now Colby finds out that Dean has told Ziggy about dead Ross’ murder and things between the supposed bestie end up in a fist fight.

And because they just love taking things public the punch up continues outside and in front of the waiting eyes of Angelo and Taylor.

Dean has more beers, but it’s actually night time now.

He reiterates that he’s “done” — a term that gets thrown around a lot tonight, often with false pretences.

When the truth comes out, and he says it will, “they’ll all be sharing a cell together.” Dean says. Talk about grim.

Willow drags him home but Dean’s drunken mouth lets slip that Taylor has a wandering eye.

Naturally, this scares Taylor and she calls off the affair for good because, “so many people have already found out it’s only a matter of time before Angelo does.”

“I’ve never felt this way”, Colby claims.

But with her source of love and affection no longer an option, Taylor wants Angelo to step up.

But his response is pretty unsatisfactory and he uses “the case” as an excuse for his lack of interest in his wife.

Also can Angelo please get a personality? He barely says anything and we know nothing about him.

And then finally, Bella and Nikau — who are frolicking in their love bubble — get sucked into Colby’s web.

Bella says Colby is “destroying” their family and tells Nik about the affair so pretty much everyone knows.

Nikau pays Colby a visit and they have a man to man but Colby is his sly and cocky self and won’t have a bar of it.

So Nikau asks Bella to move in with him to protect her from her brother’s rampant actions.

We cut to Taylor getting into Colby’s car which is supposed to be in a surreptitious location. It’s not.

And then the affair is back on!

Justin’s surgery gets underway.

Once Dr Green opens Justin up he discovers the tumour is much more advanced than it appeared in the scans.

It has “adhered” to his spinal cord and Dr Green calls for Justin’s next of kin, Tori, who makes the difficult decisions to stop the surgery because that’s “what Justin would want”.

Leah is sobbing away regaling on all her husbands that have fallen victim on her curse and how she’s so lucky to have Justin.

Tori decides to withhold from Leah and Justin that the entire tumour hasn’t been removed to protect them.

All of a sudden Tori doesn't hate Christian and she certainly shows her gratitude to him with a horribly awkward half kiss in the elevator.

The next morning Tori apologies.

Christian didn’t “realise it was that bad”, I mean he didn’t get the same view we did of their lips almost not aligning but maybe he’s woefully single.

Justin — who has been the number one crazy Jas advocate — is in good spirits and even thanks her for her support.